


Perdition

by FBLayla11



Category: Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 13:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBLayla11/pseuds/FBLayla11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an effort to gain allies and overthrow Felipe de Castro and Victor Madden, Eric secretly forms a political marriage with another monarch which tears apart his relationship with Sookie. 25 years later, Sookie is still dealing with the aftermath of his betrayal. With 75 years still remaining in Eric’s political “marriage” will Sookie be able to finally forgive him or will they be torn apart forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perdition

**Author's Note:**

> SPOV

I think Eric said it best the night he came for me in the Supe Hospital the day after being rescued from Lochlan and Neave. “Fucking Fairies.” Why couldn’t I just grow old and die like a human? Instead I was destined to live a very very long life, one that was wrought with misery and regret.

It’s been a little over twenty five years since that fateful night. The night that, for all intents and purposes, my life ended.  Eric and I had settled into a relationship that I couldn’t have been happier in. The only problem back then was that we were both targets for assassination. The now deceased Felipe de Castro and Victor Madden wanted Eric, Pam and myself  dead, and they made no attempt to hide that fact either.

Never in my life did I imagine, though, that Eric’s plan to defeat them would include the worst betrayal of my life. I knew something was going on, that Pam and Eric were scheming to overthrow Felipe, but never once did they let me in on any of their plans.

I had an inkling that whatever they were planning somehow affected me when one night Pam cryptically told Eric that he needed to tell me about a letter. Eric quickly commanded her to never mention it again.

I had known that he was hiding things from me, but when I inquired about such things, he told me that it was in my best interest to know as little about their schemes as possible. I reluctantly agreed because I trusted him to keep us all safe.

It was a warm humid Louisiana day. I was getting ready for my shift at Merlotte’s when I stopped at my mailbox to pick up the mail. It was a thick off white marble envelope. It looked very expensive and was inscribed with a very intricate French styled cursive script. It looked very official. I carefully opened the envelope, ensuring that I did not tear it. Inside the envelope was a beautiful classy cardstock invitation.  I still have the invitation to this day, although it is very worn due to my constant handling of it. I thought about burning it about a hundred times, but for some reason, I clung to it.

**You are formally invited to the pledging ceremony of Eric Northman, Sheriff Area 5, Louisiana and Queen Marguerite Castellanos of Arizona.**

I will never forget the moment I read those words. I actually thought I was having a heart attack, I couldn’t breathe, my heart was beating so fast that my vision started to become blurred. It took me a long time before I was stable enough to continue my drive to work. Surprisingly though, I didn’t cry. I was too furious to shed a tear. Though the tears would certainly come later, and still continue to this day in fact.

To my credit, I didn’t yell at him. When the sun set, I actually didn’t even call him, instead I opted to speak with Pam. I thought I would get more of the truth out of her.

“Good Evening my telepathic friend.” She said blissfully unaware of the wrath I was about to unleash on her.

“Hi Pam. So what should I wear?” I asked her innocently.

“I’m not sure what you mean, but please don’t wear those hideous cutoff shorts.” She replied merrily.

“Well I guess I should be more specific. What does one wear to a pledging ceremony?” My tone became a little more sarcastic and irate. 

She immediately became serious. “Sookie, what do you know?”

“Well, Pam, the invitation I received stated that my bonded and pledged _husband_ was pledging to the Queen of Arizona. I would hate to underdress for said occasion, seeing as it is to be such a _joyous_ ceremony. I just want to know what the other woman should wear to her husband’s wedding?” I was more than pissed and I made no attempt to mask it.

“Sookie, you need to speak with Eric.” She said firmly but with regret.

“No Pam, I do not.” I seethed. “In fact, you can tell Eric that I’ll be researching avenues to remove the bond and break the pledge. Have a good night Pam.” I fumed. I heard her try to say something else, but I cut her off and hung up on her.

After I hung up, I rescinded the invitation to all vampires that I had allowed into my home, including Eric. My next task was calling Amelia to see if she could come up with a way to break the bond.

Of course she wanted to know why I wanted to break the bond, and I had to go through the humiliating task of explaining Eric’s betrayal.  She agreed to look into a way to break the bond and get back to me.

My phone rang off the hook for about an hour after that. I knew it was either Eric or Pam, but I had no interest in speaking to either of them. The invitation said everything that needed to be said.

About midnight, I heard him beating down my door.

“Sookie, I must speak with you. You don’t understand.” He pleaded. I ignored him for the good part of an hour, but when it became apparent that he was not going anywhere. I met him at the door. I didn’t open it of course, but if he wanted to speak to me that was the most I was willing to compromise.

“Eric. I have no intention of speaking to you about this. Not now, not ever. As far as I’m concerned, you and I are dead and you killed us.” I yelled angrily with no remorse for my words because they were true. It wasn’t so much that he was marrying someone else. Sure that hurt, but the worse part of his betrayal was that I was caught completely off guard by the announcement. I felt both humiliated and deceived by him.

“Sookie, please give me the opportunity to explain. I will not leave until you do.” He begged, but my resolve never waned.

“Well then I hope you are prepared to meet the sun.” I replied coldly and I went upstairs to go to bed. I didn’t sleep at all that night, and Eric stayed on my front porch until a few minutes before dawn.

Incidentally, I never heard from him again. Pam came by night after night up until the pledging, but after the ceremony, which I did not attend by the way, I only heard from her sporadically.

I sent Eric and his new _wife_ a pledging gift. It was a Waterford crystal vase I found on discount at Dillards, along with a congratulatory note. In return I received a generic thank you, which I was sure some lackey wrote.

A month after Eric’s pledging ceremony, he and his _wife_ killed Felipe de Castro and Victor Madden in a coup d’état.  She took Nevada and Eric took Louisiana. From what I understand, Eric gave Arkansas to someone that helped them with the takeover.

Eric became King of Louisiana and I never heard from him again. About a month after Eric’s coronation, which I received an invitation for, Amelia came to visit me. She brought with her a vile of putrid liquid freedom.  I was to ingest the liquid and sleep for 24 hours, after which time I would no longer be bonded with _his majesty_. After some research, I also found out that you cannot be pledged to a human without being bonded to them, so the vile of putrid liquid would not only break the bond, but it would also nullify the pledge.

I downed the liquid with reckless abandon, thanking god that Eric Northman would never know how I felt ever again.

When I woke up 24 hours later, I was met with Pam knocking down my door.

“What have you done?” She seethed. She had no right to be angry with me. I told her my plans, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to her.

“I made good on my promise.” I replied stoically.

“He thinks you are dead.” She replied equally stoic.

“To him, I may as well be.” I replied coldly.

Pam turned away from the door and pulled out her phone. I could tell by the context of the conversation that she was talking to Eric.

“Yes, she lives. Yes. Are you sure? Okay, I will relay the message.”  And he ended her conversation as she put her phone back in her purse.

“Eric said he is glad that you are alive. He wishes to tell you that he will not contact you ever again if that is your wish and that he will keep his promise to protect you as long as you stay in Louisiana.” Pam finished  icily.

“That is my wish.” I said firmly and she nodded and left my porch. I only saw Pam once every two years or so after that. I was heartbroken, by Eric’s betrayal and I was devastated by the marriage. I knew that he was obliged to have sex with her once a year, and that in and of itself was enough to break my heart, never mind the secrecy.

Luckily for me, Dermot and Claude were there for me, in more ways than I could ever hope for. They stayed with me and wiped my tears on the nights that were particularly bad. I would have a severe breakdown every New Year’s for obvious reasons. To say that I longed for Eric was an understatement, but I refused to contact him.

About a year after Pam’s fateful visit, I started to go through some changes in my body. I had no idea what was happening to me. I would sweat profusely, sort of like menopause. My temperature was through the roof and I ached all over. It was then that Dermot and Claude had to sit me down and explain that I was experiencing the Fae maturation cycle. They even called in Dr. Ludwig to confirm it. 

Apparently, because I possessed the essential spark from a royal blood line, it didn’t matter how much actual fairy blood I had in my body. Dr. Ludwig explained that I was coming into my magic and that I would live for a very very long time. She couldn’t tell me how long specifically, but Dermot was still very young by Fairy standards at a mere 1000 years and he was half Fae. Judging by his age, she estimated that I would live to be about six to seven hundred years of age.

It took me a long time to come to terms with that fact. I went through a rebellious stage where I behaved completely opposite from what everyone expected.

I bedded guy after guy, mostly they were Weres, although I did sleep with a very hot vampire once. He knew who I was so he told me he could not see me anymore for fear of death by the King.

All the men were nameless bodies, who I cared nothing for. I resigned myself to never fall in love ever again. I thought it was too painful and only led to an inevitable heartbreak, especially since I would end up outliving all of them.

Claude told me that I should consider a fairy for a new mate, but I decided that there really weren’t that many left in the human realm and my pickings were too slim.

Eventually I quit working at Merlotte’s, in the hopes of finding some kind of meaning to my life. I had been given a large sum of money from Niall and Claudine’s estate, so I enrolled in college and earned a degree in Jurisprudence. Yes, that’s right, Sookie Stackhouse became a lawyer.

I took a job working for Mr. Cataliades, but I stipulated that I wanted to have no dealings with his majesty. He agreed, saying that he handled Mr. Northman’s dealings personally.

I loved my job, so much so, that it took up most of my time, leaving me little time to worry about love or men. I did a lot of Pro bono work for disenfranchised Supes who had been singled out and discriminated against, but mostly I did wills and tort work for Mr. Cataliades.

I was able to work from home, which was fantastic because it meant that I didn’t have to interact too often with the prominent Supes.

I was still a friend of the Shreveport Longtooth Pack which Alcide was still the packmaster of.  I did however, find someone else to be their pack shaman. There was no way I was taking those crazy drugs on a regular basis. Alcide had married about three years after Eric’s coronation and had two children, so I did not see him as often as I used to.

In fact, I didn’t really have any friends that I saw on a regular basis. I spoke to Amelia often. Claude and Dermot came by every Saturday, and my brother was busy trying to have children with Michelle. Apparently the virus that made him part Were panther also caused problems with his fertility.

If he was not able to have children, than the Stackhouse name would cease to exist, as I was not ever planning to have children. Not that I didn’t want them, but there were just too many complications. What if I had a human child? I would have to watch as my child got old and died while I remained young. What if I had a telepathic child who struggled their whole life the way I did? Who would I find to father said child?

I busied myself in my work for the next ten years. Finding fulfillment in my work made the pain of Eric’s betrayal al little easier. I still thought about him all the time, I even cried for the loss often, but I knew that I could not go back to him.

Through Mr. Cataliades, I kept track of him and how he was doing, and I’m sure he was doing the same with me. I found out that he had a harem of women that he kept at his royal residence, which was located in New Orleans. He still owned Fangtasia, though he never went there, from what I understood Maxwell Lee took over the running of the club. Pam was Eric’s Lieutenant and stayed with him in New Orleans. Eric was a very good King, he was efficient, well respected and fair. I didn’t expect anything less from him.

I would often receive invitations to galas, benefits, ceremonies and parties that he sponsored, but I never went. I didn’t want to see him. I was content living in BFE Bon Temps out in the country all by my lonesome. Bill had even left with Judith to travel the globe. He came back every once in a while, and it was always a pleasant visit.

Another ten years passed and I still looked like a healthy 25 year old. I continued to work for Mr. Cataliades, and I even took odd jobs reading people’s minds for people in the Supe community.

Eric asked me, through Mr. Cataliades, to work for him on occasion. I agreed, but stipulated that I would never step foot in the royal residence and that he was never to be present. I was probably the only person in the kingdom that could get away with such demands of their monarch, but hey, he owed me at least that much.

Since Amelia was human, she was still subject to human maladies, and as a result she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only 45 when she eventually passed away. She bravely battled cancer for 3 years before her body just could not take any more chemo. The cancer spread throughout her body and I sat back and watched as my best friend degenerated into skin and bones. It was devastating, but even in her gravest hour she still retained her feisty attitude.

I asked her father to hold the ceremony at night so that Pam could attend. She was buried in New Orleans next to her mother. Pam and I both cried and she actually gave me a hug. Eric was never mentioned, it was inappropriate. We were there to mourn Amelia’s death, not the death of a twenty year old relationship.

It was at her funeral that it hit me. I would watch as all of my friends were buried. Sam, Jason, Tara, JB, their children, Alcide, and everyone else except the vampires and my fairy kin.

After her funeral and my epiphany, I sort of spiraled into a black hole. I cursed my fae blood and the essential spark. I contemplated how I would eventually take my own life after all of my family and friends died. I decided that I would go out Juliet style and poison myself by ingesting iron supplements and lemonade.

I stayed in that dark place for a good year, until Mr. Cataliades threatened to fire me if I didn’t “get myself together”. I started going to see a grief counselor who helped me understand that the physical embodiment is but one cycle in life. I prayed often for Amelia, and that helped me to feel connected to my lost friend.

Keeping her memory alive was also a part of my grief counseling, so I started to get heavily involved with the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I donated a lot of money in Amelia’s name to the foundation.  I did the 3 day walk for her every year. More importantly though, I donated my legal services to any cancer patient that needed them, mostly doing their wills and setting up trusts. It was cathartic and it gave me a sense of purpose.

Sam eventually closed Merlotte’s and decided to go back to Texas to help his mom out. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and his siblings sadly weren’t willing or financially able to take care of her.

I send him a Christmas card every year, but other than that we rarely spoke. He was usually so busy caring for his mother that he had little time for anything else. He is still single and has no children like me. I often wonder what it would have been like to settle down with him, or someone like him, have children, and play housewife, but my musings are always short-lived once reality came crashing back down into me. 

Another three years passed in the same way as the previous. I continued to volunteer my time to cancer patients and their families, working for Cataliades, and generally having all my time occupied.

I had started dating a quarter fairy named Lee. I had been dating him for about a year, and I wouldn’t exactly say that I loved him, I was very fond of him. He was gorgeous, as all fairies are. He was about six foot two, gorgeous blue-green eyes, blond hair cut a little longer than a buzz cut, but styled in a very manly messy no nonsense kind of way. He was an immaculate dresser. His looks rivaled Claude’s, everywhere we went, I could hear women fawning over him in their minds. He was a very nice man, he loved me enough. Like me, he had lost the love of his life to a freak car accident. She was human and they had actually been married for several years before she died. I oversaw her estate and that is how I met Lee. After a normal amount of grieving time had passed, Lee had called me and asked me out on a date.

We didn’t live together, but we saw each other almost every day. Since he was quarter fairy, he was going to be around for a while, so I didn’t worry about losing him too soon.  We had quite a lot in common and we got along brilliantly. But I knew I could never give him my heart, that space was long dead. I think he was okay with that because I couldn’t be what his wife was to him either.

He knew about Eric and that didn’t scare him away like it did with many other Supes. It was just easy to be with Lee, we rarely fought and our love making was always fantastic. We didn’t worry about conceiving a child, because he was deemed infertile by Dr. Ludwig. Apparently he and his deceased wife had tried for years to conceive, but were unsuccessful.

It was another balmy summer Louisiana day, I went to check my mail, and that is when I saw it. It was an invitation to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the King’s coronation. Normally, I tossed any invitation I received from his majesty, but this one was different. Maybe I felt that sufficient time had passed and I was adequately over him. Maybe I was secure in my relationship with Lee. Maybe I just wanted to see Eric. I don’t really know what compelled me, but I R.S.V.P’d myself and a guest. The return card asked me to list a name, but I didn’t want to so I just wrote ‘and guest’. I hoped that I would just be another guest, and not anyone special, although most Supes knew that I never attended any social gathering.

I spoke with Lee and he was reluctant at first, but ultimately agreed that he would like to go. Since he was only a quarter fairy, we didn’t worry about his scent and being around vampires. The gala was to be held in a fortnight, giving me enough time to find the perfect outfit.

Finally, I found the perfect dress. It was a white strapless sweetheart neckline Dolce and Gabana gown.  It was a beautiful silk charmeuse gown with an empire waist. It fit my curves beautifully and accentuated my cleavage.  I paired it with some silver three inch strappy Jimmy Choo’s. My taste in clothes had definitely improved over the last quarter century. I went for quality clothes versus quantity.

I guess, for someone who hadn’t seen me in a long time, you could say that I had changed a lot over the years. Lee and I planned to make the gala a weekend trip, so we booked a room at a B&B in the French Quarter. We really hadn’t taken any trips together, so this was sort of a big deal for us. I packed my gorgeous dress and some beautiful lingerie from La Perla.

We decided to drive instead of flying, which I was happy about since I still feared flying. Some things never change.

I didn’t feel nervous about potentially seeing Eric, in truth, I was happy with Lee and I hoped that Eric was happy too.

Lee and I made the five hour drive to New Orleans, we checked into the beautiful bed and breakfast. The party was to be held tonight at 10 o’clock, so we had about three hours to kill. I desperately wanted to go get some coffee and beignets, so Lee suggested we head over to Café Du Monde. As we were walking to the café, I took notice of the significant changes that Eric had contributed to in the city.

He had made a huge effort to clean up the city and bring it back to its pre Katrina glory days and I have to say, he had done a wonderful job. The tourists were packing bourbon street in droves. Buildings that were once in disrepair had been renovated and funded by Eric and the vampires. I was proud of him for that.

Lee and I spent some time walking and shopping, until it was time to head back to the hotel and get ready for the gala. I still wasn’t nervous about seeing Eric, I was just happy to get to see Pam.

Lee looked great in his gray Calvin Klein suit. I was proud to be on his arm. I put on my dress and shoes and decided that I would put on a little more makeup than usual since it was an evening party. I put on the diamond necklace that Lee had given me for our one year anniversary. I had to admit that we looked good together.

We drove to the party in Lee’s Mercedes, where we were greeted by none other than Rasul. He was heading up security and directing the valet guys. Lee helped me out of the car, and Rasul looked surprised to see me.

“Good Evening Miss Stackhouse, it has been far too long. You look stunning as always.” He complimented.

“Thank you Rasul.” I said politely and Lee and I walked over to the security checkpoint.

We were directed through the security line where we were instructed to queue the greeting line. I hadn’t anticipated the fact that I would have to greet Eric personally; in fact I was hoping that I could simply avoid him.

We were next in line, and I noticed Eric eyeing me carefully. Pam was standing next to him smiling in my direction. Well at least someone was happy to see me.

“Your Majesty.” I said respectfully and curtsied to him. “Congratulations on your successful reign.” I finished.

“Thank you Miss Stackhouse.” He replied as he expectantly awaited my introduction of Lee.

“This is my boyfriend Lee.” I took my cue and made the polite introductions.

“I was unaware that you were involved, it is a pleasure Lee.” Eric greeted politely but there was also a tinge of regret.

“Yes, well Lee and I have been together for a little over a year now.” I replied.

“I see. Enjoy your evening Miss Stackhouse.” Eric replied icily. He had no right to be angry that I had a date, after all he was married. Speaking of, I wondered if his _wife_ would be in attendance this evening. 

As I passed Pam, I stopped to give her a hug. I really missed Pam. She and I had become friends over the years. We exchanged pleasantries and promised to catch up later in the evening.

Lee and I made our way over to the food buffet. I was too jumpy to eat anything, but Lee didn’t seem to have any trepidations. We sat watching the crowd. Lee ate while I spoke to Mr. Cataliades, Bill, Judith, and a few other people I had worked for over the years.

After the greeting line ended, the emcee made an announcement that the dance floor was open. Lee asked me to dance and I couldn’t contain my excitement. I loved to dance, and since I was the anti-social butterfly, I rarely had the opportunity.

We were waltzing across the dance floor when I felt his eyes boring into the back of my head. I glanced up to see Eric eyeing me longingly as if he had any right to feel that way. I tried to ignore him, and focused back on my date. The dance was three quarters of the way over when I heard Lee’s stomach making all kinds of unnatural noises.

He stopped dancing and looked at me; I could tell he was not feeling well.

“Sookie, I am sorry, I don’t feel well. Please excuse me.” Lee said politely and quickly made his way to the men’s room. I was left all alone in the middle of the dance floor looking like an idiot.

All of a sudden, I felt a cool hand brush against my shoulder.

“May I have this dance?” Bill asked coolly.

“Sure Bill.” I replied graciously. Bill and I had already spoken briefly in the evening, but still It had been many years since I’d seen him.

“He seems to be watching your every move this evening.” Bill commented. I had been aware of Eric’s presence all evening and I could feel him watching me. Thankfully, I couldn’t feel his emotions any longer.

The dance ended and I thanked him. I went to look for Lee to make sure he was alright. I waited outside the men’s room when he came stumbling out holding his stomach. He looked grey.

“Oh my god, Lee, are you alright?” I asked worriedly. I went to hold him, but he sort of pushed me away.

“I will be fine, I think I am gonna go back to the hotel if that’s okay with you.” He said weakly.

“Then I’ll go with you.” I went to reach for his arm, but he stopped me.

“No, you should stay Sookie, you have been looking forward to this for two weeks. Plus you have on a gorgeous dress. I would hate for that to go to waste.” He said with a sad smile. He was right, I didn’t want to leave yet. I looked damn good and I wanted to show off a little.

“If you are sure, please take the car, I can get a cab.” I said and he agreed. I walked him out and kissed him on the cheek.

As I was walking back into the party, Pam stopped me.

“Where is the fairy off to?” she asked but I could tell that she couldn’t care less.

“He felt ill, so he went back to the hotel.” I said disappointingly.

“I see. Can I ask you a question Sookie?” I was not used to Pam being so polite, normally she would ask whatever crude question was plaguing her without regard for my feelings.

“Ask away.” I replied.

“Why did you decide to come tonight, moreover, why did you decide to bring the fairy?” She wasn’t being rude, she genuinely wanted to know my reasons.

“Pam, I have dodged these social events for the last 25 years. Lee and I are happy. What can I say, I felt like maybe this was the last step in truly getting over him.” I said earnestly. Pam looked me dead in the eyes gauging my honesty.

“He is not over you.” Pam said shortly and rushed away. I didn’t care if he was over me or not. I wonder how his _wife_ would feel knowing that he wasn’t over me. In my opinion he deserved a lifetime of misery for his deceit.

I went back to the party to mingle some more with some clients of mine. After a while, I decided that I needed to get some fresh air, so I found a little mezzanine balcony and took in the night air.

I felt his presence behind me, but I chose to ignore it, at least I did until he interrupted me.

“Sookie, you look absolutely breathtaking.” He whispered longingly over my shoulder. I was perched over the edge of the balcony with my elbows resting on the ledge.

“Thank you your majesty.” I was being purposefully formal. I didn’t want him to think I was receptive to any kind of rehashing of the last 25 years.

“It is dangerous to leave such a beauty all alone. Where has your date gone off to?” he knew damn well. Pam had already told him, I am sure.

“Your Majesty, my date felt ill and decided to leave.” I said shortly. I wanted to go back inside and continue to avoid him, but it was obvious that Eric had other plans.

“Sookie, please stop calling me that.” He spat angrily. He caught onto my little game.

“I apologize Mr. Northman, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Still keeping up with the formalities.

“Sookie, you act as if you don’t know me.” He said forlornly as he gazed into my eyes. Perhaps I had not gotten over my anger as much as I thought.

“I guess I don’t, I’m not sure I ever did.” I replied indignantly while crossing my arms defensively.

“It has been 25 years, Sookie. Haven’t you forgiven me?” he asked miserably.

“No I haven’t. For one, you’ve never asked for forgiveness, and two, if I’m not mistaken you have to fuck your _wife_ at least 75 more times, so no. I haven’t forgiven you.”

“I did it for you Sookie, to keep you safe.” he answered dejectedly.

“I’m sure that is the reason. Is that what you tell her when you’re fucking her?” I spewed indignantly.

“For Fuck’s sake Sookie, is that what this is about. You are angry because I am contractually obligated to fuck a woman I despise once a year?” he was getting angry with me and he went to grab my arm, but I pulled away from him before he had the chance.

“Yeah, that is part of it. Also, the fact that you arranged it all behind my back. I was your fucking wife, I was your bonded. The least you could have done was show me enough respect to tell me before I got the goddamned invitation in the mail. I thought Bill’s betrayal was bad, but you. You take the fucking cake. There should be an award named after you for that kind of bullshit.” Talk about pent up anger. This was decades and I was unleashing it all on him.

“You hated the bond and you blatantly ignored the pledge. I honestly didn’t think it would matter to you that I would marry another for political gain.” He retorted. He was only partially right. I didn’t hate either, what I didn’t like was the fact that both were forced upon me without explanation or consent.

“How little you knew me. I resented the fact that I had no choice, but I didn’t hate the bond or the pledge only the circumstances surrounding their inception. And you honestly thought I wouldn’t mind sharing my husband?”

“What can I say Sookie? What can I do? Half of me is dead without you. I have kept up with you and your life all these years and I am proud of you for what you have become.  But I also know that I hurt you, I know that you have had some rough times. I just want to be a part of your life again. I need my bonded, my wife back.” He pleaded and I could see a tinge of red lining his eyes.

The old Sookie would have felt guilty or bad, but I wasn’t buying it. I had hardened over the last 25 years, and I didn’t feel bad for him one bit. He made his bed, he can lie in it.

“Part of me is dead too, and you killed it. I am not the same as I was Eric and I cannot and will not go back to you. You still have 75 years left on your contract. I will absolutely not sit back and be humiliated in that way. I won’t have you running off fucking the bitch Queen while everyone looks at me pitifully wondering why I would subject myself to being whatever you would call me. The Royal whore I suppose.” I spewed and I was absolute in my decision.

“What would you have me do? I had to marry her to takeover Felipe! I had no other choice!” he yelled.

“There were always other ways. You could have found someone else to help you, someone who would have been perfectly content by just having Nevada as their spoils rather than Nevada and you as their husband. You could have allied with someone without marriage. You could have taken over by right of challenge. There were so many other options, but you chose the only one that would rip us apart.” I responded. Having worked for Mr. Cataliades, I knew all there was to know about Supe law. There were literally hundreds of different ways Eric could have challenged Felipe, why he chose marriage, I will never fully understand.

“I fucked up Sookie! Is that what you want to hear? Pam was right, I should have spoken to you about it. She tried to tell you, but I commanded her not to. How can I make this right?” he beseeched me.

“Nothing. There is nothing you can do to change it. It is done. Those contracts are iron clad. Barring her unlikely death, you, my loving ex-husband, are stuck. If you will excuse me, I need to leave and go check on Lee. “ I spewed petulantly. I had read his contract, and researched it for months. There literally was no way out of it unless one of the parties met their final death. Since they were both very powerful monarchs, that was very unlikely to happen.

I went to walk away from him when he grabbed my arm gently.

“Do you love him?” he asked sorrowfully.

“I do not love.” I said coldly. I realized that I sounded like Eric did when I first met him, but it was true. I had no place in my life for love.

“Then why are you with him?” he asked.

“It passes the time. He is good in bed, a good conversationalist, he cares about me. What else could I ask for?” I said, coldly throwing in the part about Lee’s sexual prowess.

“We have more than that and you know it.”

“Had Eric, we had more than that and I am keenly aware.” I reminded him. Having said all that I cared to, I pulled away from his grasp and made my way to the front door.

I was almost there when Pam stopped me.

“You two are both so stubborn. Sookie I wish you knew how much he needs you. Don’t you care about Eric anymore?” Pam said fractiously.

“Pam, please. You know as well as I, that I won’t be subjected to that kind of humiliation. It doesn’t matter if I care for him or not, I will never be with him again and that is the bottom line. He just needs to get over it.” I replied unfeelingly and I walked away from her. After both of those exhausting encounters, all I wanted was to go back to the hotel and crawl into bed.

I hailed a cab and went back to the B&B where I found Lee passed out on the bathroom floor in the fetal position. I felt so bad that I stayed at the party without him. I should have been here caring for him, instead I was rehashing 25 years of misery with Eric and Pam.

I helped Lee into bed and brought him some water and medicine. I was dog-tired and feel asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Lee and I had planned to have a romantic weekend, but instead we went back to Bon Temps the next day so that Dr. Ludwig could check on Lee. It turned out he had food poisoning, well the Fae version of it anyway, I guess he had eaten some lemon and it made him sick.

Another few months passed, and I resolved myself to forget about Eric once and for all. Nothing could be changed between us, he was still contractually obligated to his Queen, and that was just something I would not accept. Call it an impasse, call it a disagreement, call it what you like, but Eric and I were never going to be.

Another year had passed since the night of the gala. I had to go down to New Orleans to meet with Mr. Cataliades regarding the pledging of the King of Washington and the Queen of Idaho. I was halfway there when my phone started ringing. I checked the caller I.D and it was Mr. Cataliades.

“Good evening.” I greeted him politely.

“Good Evening Sookie. Something important has happened and I need to re-schedule our meeting regarding the alignment of the two monarchs.” He said matter of factly.

“No problem. Anything I can help with?” I asked.

“No. The Queen of Arizona has met her final death and I need to square away the affairs of both Arizona and Nevada.” He replied succinctly. Knowing vampire law, Eric would automatically be heir to both thrones.

Not having all the details as to the circumstances surrounding her death, barring any obvious suspects, I knew Eric could and probably would be suspect number one.

“Okay, please let me know when the meeting is re-scheduled for. I will be in New Orleans for the next two days if you need me.” I offered then ended the call.

I needed to find out what happened, so I dialed Pam.

“Speak.” Pam said directly. Ah Pam, always the portrait of politeness.

“Pam, It’s Sookie. I just heard about the Queen. Can we meet somewhere?” I asked. I knew that phone communication would not be ideal in case someone was monitoring their calls.

“Come to the palace, and we will talk.” Pam suggested.

“I will be there in two hours.” I said and hung up.

This could be a huge deal, there could even be a trial if Eric was suspected in her death. I was in full on lawyer mode and I didn’t even think about the fact that the contract would now be null and void and what the implications of that fact were for Eric and I.

I thought about all his defense scenarios in my head for the remainder of the drive. Whatever our past was, I didn’t want Eric to be sent to his final death.

When I reached the Palace, I was greeted once again by Rasul.

“Evening Miss Stackhouse, Miss Ravenscroft is expecting you.” He said politely.

I nodded and made my way into the palace. Some lackey directed me to her office on the second floor.

“Hello my telepathic friend.” Pam greeted me with a hug.

“Hi Pam. So what happened.” I got right to the point.

“You don’t waste time do you? Eric is meeting with Cataliades as we speak. Basically Marguerite was killed by one of her pets who managed to get into her daytime rest. She was staked while she slept. Apparently the pet was pissed because the bitch refused to turn her.” Pam recounted the story.

“And Eric had nothing to do with it?” I asked suspiciously.

“What would give you that impression?” Pam sneered with a wink. I knew he did because he wanted out of the contract. I knew from our conversation a year ago, that he would do almost anything to get rid of his obligation to her. Was this all an elaborate attempt to get me back?

“Right. So what is Eric going to do with Arizona and Nevada?” I asked. Pam knew that I knew what was going on, so I decided to change the subject.

“Eric doesn’t want them, so he is going to sell them to the highest bidder with a few conditions of course. He doesn’t want another Victor Madden or Felipe de Castro to take control of the states as they are quite profitable.

Pam and I spoke for a little while longer before evidence of my exhaustion started to become apparent.

“Sookie, please stay at the palace, you are tired I can see that.” Pam offered.

“It’s fine Pam, I have a reservation at the Marriot, I will just go check in.” I countered. It would be awkward to stay here and be around Eric.

“Sookie, I insist.” She said politely, but I knew better. When the King’s Lieutenant insists, it means they order.

“You’re right Pam, I am too tired to make it to the hotel.” I gave in. Pam showed me to a beautiful room complete with a mini kitchen and a spa bathtub. It was elegantly decorated, totally Pam’s style, and I felt surprisingly comfortable in the room.

The combination of driving for five hours and the stress of worrying about Eric’s future sure had taken a lot out of me. I fell asleep almost immediately.

I’m not sure what time it was, but I heard the door to my suite open and shut. A few seconds later I felt a depression on my bed. I squinted my eyes open to find that Eric was sitting at the foot of my bed watching me as I slept.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, I just wanted to see you.” He whispered longingly. He looked as beautiful as ever, and it reminded me of the times he would come and spend the night at my house.

“Mmmm hmmm. Pam asked me to stay, I hope that’s alright with you.” I replied groggily, as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

“It is more than alright, Sookie. You are always welcome here.” He said. And it looked like he was going to touch my cheek, but he held himself back.

“So what happens next?” I asked. I guess that was sort of a loaded question, but in fact I was referring to the situation with his dead _wife_.

“Now that I am a free man, I hope to win back your affections.” He said confirming my prior suspicions.

“Not likely.” I retorted bitterly. I was still with Lee for one thing, and two, I still had not forgiven him fully for what he had done. I was not ready to just forgive and forget, pretend like nothing had happened.

“Why is that so?” he asked sad and confused. I guess he supposed he could kill off his wife and presume that I would go running back to him like some kind of lost little puppy.

“If only things were that simple Eric.”

“They are.” He said dejectedly.

“Not quite. I am with Lee, and what makes you think that I would just go running back into your arms as if nothing ever happened?” I was becoming frustrated with him, we had this conversation a year ago. Just because his wife was now dead didn’t mean anything had changed in my book. He just had one less person to fuck a year. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes as he contemplated what I had just said. He looked disappointed by my words.

“I will win you back, Sookie.” He stated confidently and rose from the bed and quickly left me to go back to sleep. He could try to win me back all he wanted, but after 25 years without him, I had become accustomed to my life and I didn’t need him any longer.

When I woke the next day, I was greeted with breakfast in bed along with a note from the King.

**Beloved,**

**Please let my staff know if you need anything. They will be happy to accommodate any request you make of them. I hope that you will choose to stay for a while. I would like to speak with you again tonight. If it agreeable to you, please meet me in the South Salon at first dark.**

**Forever Yours,**

**-E**

I had to admit reading his note caused mixed feelings within me. Part of me wanted to let go of the past and allow myself feel for Eric again, but a bigger part of me was scared of being hurt by him again, resigned to my life of partial fulfillment. I was comfortable with my life; I had a wonderful career, lots of charity work and a man who cared for me. I didn’t see what incentive there was to throw all of that away. I guess I just felt like the risk didn’t outweigh the reward.

That put me in quite a precarious situation. Should I meet with Eric tonight, or should I just go check in to the hotel? I decided that I needed to remove myself from the royal residence, I needed to speak with Lee and I was not going to be meeting with Eric tonight.

As I checked into the Mariott, I couldn’t help but feel like I had made a mistake in even contacting Pam last night. By doing so, I unknowingly and unintentionally gave Eric the wrong impression of my interest in his safety.

Breaking me from my musings, my phone began to ring. It was Mr. Cataliades. I spoke with him for a few minutes. He let me know that the meeting between the two pledging monarchs was rescheduled for tonight at 10:00.

Well at least now I had an excuse as to why I wasn’t meeting with Eric. As soon as the meeting tonight concluded, I was going to leave New Orleans. I didn’t want to stay here one minute more than I needed to.

I had to go to the front desk and check out. It was such a waste, because I didn’t even make it to the room, but I still had to pay for it. Still, it was a price I was willing to pay if it meant that I could avoid Eric.

I decided a little retail therapy was in order. I headed over to the garden district to visit my favorite little boutique called La Belle Femme. I must have been really upset because I spent over $2,000. But I came away with some beautiful Michael Kors, Diane von Furstenberg and Carolina Herrera dresses.

Milling down the street, I found a coffee shop to sit in and pass the time, and then it hit me that I had totally forgotten to call Lee.

He never answered; instead I got his voice mail. This was odd; he always answered my calls. I left him a voicemail just letting him know that I was thinking about him and that I missed him.

I pulled out my laptop and started to tackle some work that I had neglected over the past two days. I must have gotten lost in my work because by the time I went to take a quick break it was already dark. I gathered up my belongings and headed over to Cataliades office.

By the time I got there, it was already 9:45, I had missed the meeting with Eric. Nobody stood up the King. It was rude of me to stand him up without at least a note and I regretted that, but I wasn’t sorry for the reasons behind standing him up.

The meeting began and it was all standard stuff. Both sides agreed to the standard terms of the contract, so it was nice not to have to mediate the terms. Their contract was very similar to Eric and his now deceased wife’s contract. Ugh, I just couldn’t shake the betrayal no matter what I did. It was like it haunted me everywhere I went even now after the contract became null and void.

The meeting ended, I exchanged pleasantries and as quickly as I could, I made my way out to my car, leaving New Orleans as fast as I could.

When I got back to the old farmhouse, it was almost 5 AM, and I was thoroughly exhausted, I fell asleep as soon as I climbed into bed.

The next day, I wanted to get in contact with Lee. I hadn’t heard from him in 2 days, which was a record for us, and I was a little worried.

I called his cell phone, and this time he answered.

“Hey hon!” I excitedly explained.

“Hello Sook.” He replied nonchalantly. Something was up with him, he was being distant.

“What’s going on? I missed you.”

“Listen Sook, we need to talk.” He confirmed my suspicions, he sounded so serious.

“Ok, so let’s talk. You seem like you have something you need to tell me.” I replied cautiously.

“I met someone.” He said shortly and emotionlessly. My heart dropped at those three words.

“I see, and when did this happen?” I asked icily.

“About a month ago. It was nothing at first, but I have really grown close to her. I can’t continue to lie to you anymore. I just thought it was best to end things now before feelings got hurt.” That was funny, I don’t have feelings, so I guess I shouldn’t be too upset about the fact that he has been cheating on me for the last month. He is just another in a line of men who have betrayed me.

“Well I appreciate your honesty, take care Lee.” I said pleasantly and hung up. In truth, I wasn’t all that hurt that he cheated, and I wasn’t entirely surprised either. I guess I should have been more broken up about it, but I just wasn’t. I never loved Lee, and I knew I never would so I guess it was all for the best.

As soon as I hung up, my doorbell rang.

“Good Morning Miss Stackhouse, I have a delivery for you.” The short delivery man said. He handed me a large envelope.

“Thank you.” I replied politely and took the envelope from him.

I sat down at my kitchen table and opened the envelope. It wasn’t the normal correspondence I get from Cataliades, this envelope had the Royal seal, so I knew it must be from Eric.

In fact, it was from Eric. It was a letter along with a photograph of the two of us. The picture was very old, but I remember when it was taken. It was the night of the Fangtasia Halloween bash. I was dressed as a dainty fairy and he was dressed as a Viking. We looked so happy together, I don’t recall smiling like that, well, since Eric and I broke up.  That night Eric and we danced and laughed and just enjoyed the party, and after we left the party, we made love until dawn. That was one of my happiest memories I have of us.

The letter was equally nostalgic.

**My beloved Sookie,**

**I am regretful to have not gotten the opportunity to see you last night as there were so many things I wanted to say to you, but mostly I just wanted to see your beautiful face. I have also enclosed a photo of you and I from the night of the Fangtasia Halloween party over 25 years ago. I remember thinking that night that I was the absolute luckiest vampire to have such a beautiful brave fairy standing by my side.**

**There isn’t a minute that goes by that I am not thinking of you. One day I hope that you will be able to forgive my actions, and when that day comes, I will be waiting for you. Everything I have done and will continue to do is all for you.**

**I love you.**

**Forever yours,**

**-E**

Funny thing is I also remember thinking that I was the luckiest girl to have such a beautiful and powerful vampire giving me all of his attention. It breaks my heart to think that we could have happily spent the last 25 years together laughing, talking, and making love. I don’t know if it was fate or his decisions that led to our demise. Maybe things would have ended badly for us regardless of his deceitful pledging to his wife. All I know is that I have missed him every single day since we parted.

Even with all of my longing, I was still unconvinced that going back to him was the right thing to do. I needed to clear my head. And the only thing that helps me do that is cleaning. So for the next 8 hours, that is exactly what I did.

When the sun set, I was debating on whether or not to call Eric and explain why I didn’t meet him. I internally fought with myself for an hour. Picking up the phone and then hanging up. Dialing the residence and then hanging up.  But since when was I a coward? Never. I  confidently dialed his royal residence, this time resolved to speak with him.

“Eric Northman’s office, how may I direct your call?” The lovely woman said.

“I would like to speak with his majesty.” I replied confidently. The lady actually laughed when I said that.

“I’m sure you do miss, many people do. Is Mr. Northman expecting your call? She snippily answered.

“No, but please let him know that Miss Stackhouse is on the line for him. I am sure he will take my call.” I replied back bitchily.

“Wait. Did you say Miss Stackhouse? Please hold, while I connect you to his majesty.” She said changing her tone completely. She actually sounded panicked. Eric must have told her about me.

“Sookie?” Eric said in his deep sexy soothing tone, the one that always made me melt.

“Hi Eric. Listen I need to explain why I stood you up.” I said meekly.

“No need Sookie, I understand. You and I have a lot of history, and you have made your feelings clear to me. I should have respected them, but I am a selfish creature, I will readily admit that I want you. “ He said dejectedly.

“I know that Eric, but I still feel the need to explain. I had a meeting that I had to attend that conflicted, but I also want you to know that there were other reasons that I didn’t make it.” I was trying to be completely honest with him. I didn’t need any misunderstandings; those had always gotten us in trouble in the past.

“Go on.” He said

“This is really awkward over the phone, but the bottom line is that I am scared to be with you. I know that sounds cowardly, but it took me a long time to get over you, hell I’m still not over you, but if I were to go back to you and something happens again, it would literally kill me. “ I finished sadly. I was almost in tears by the time I admitted that. I loved him still, I always had, but I couldn’t stand another betrayal by him. Lee betraying me was miniscule compared to the pain Eric could cause.

“Oh Sookie, what have I done to you. I need to see you. I need you to understand that all I have ever done has been for you. I promise you that I will die first before I ever hurt you again. You have to believe me.” He pleaded, and I wanted so badly to believe every word he was saying, truly I did, but something was nagging in the back of my head. That little voice of doubt that always seems to take over at the most inopportune times. I wasn’t worried about his fidelity, barring the pledging, he had never proven to not be devoted to me. It was the lies, omissions and the high handedness that worried me. Also. what if he chose to align politically again. Sometimes it’s just easier to be alone that to put your complete faith in someone else giving them the power to break you.

I broke down and sobbed, I knew he could hear me, but he said nothing.

“I just can’t risk it Eric. I can’t.” I sobbed as I whispered the truth.

“Sookie, please have faith in me, in us. What do I have to do to prove it to you? I will do anything.” He finished somberly. I felt all 25 years’ worth of grief, loss, hurt, anger, resentment all bubble up to the surface. It was like a brick house had been thrown back on my chest. My heart was pounding at an unnatural rate, my body was convulsing and I started to feel light headed. I don’t know if it was a panic attack, but I must have been silent for a long time because I heard Eric say my name over and over.  I dropped the phone and fell to the ground and that was the last thing I remember.

When I woke, I was completely disoriented. I was in what I believed was a hospital, but I had no idea which one or how I got there. I was hooked up to some tubes, but I didn’t know what for. I just wanted to go home, so I started to remove the tubes and get up, when Dr. Ludwig came in.

 “Lay back little girl and leave the tubes alone. “ She demanded, as she started to check my blood pressure.

“Where am i? How did I get here?” I asked as I tried to get my bearings back.

“You are in my hospital outside of Shreveport, and you are here because you had a severe panic attack. The King brought you in last night.” She explained. The King? As in Eric? How did he get to me, he was all the way in New Orleans? I started to ask more questions, when Eric stepped in to the room. He rushed immediately over to my side taking the hand that was not connected to tubes into his hands. He looked beyond stressed.

“Beloved.” Was all he said as he gazed into my eyes brushing the hair back from my face.

There were no words that needed to be spoken between us, I could see in his face that he felt guilty for causing me so much pain and anxiety that I actually had a panic attack. I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me. I didn’t want to feel any more pain or fear or anger.

I began to sob. Eric lifted me gently and he climbed in to the bed with me. He placed my body on top of his as he cradled me in his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and continued to cry. I was tired of being without him, I needed him, it felt like I hadn’t taken a breath in all those years without him.

“Shh. Sookie, please do not cry beloved.” He cooed, but that only made me want to cry more. He rocked me gently in his arms, giving me the comfort that I longed to have.

“I am so sorry Sookie. This is all my fault.” He said in agony. As much as I wanted to place all the blame on him, I knew that he was not entirely culpable. I should have gone to him in the beginning and explained how hurt I was, I should have given him the opportunity to explain his reasoning. I don’t know if that would have changed things, but at least we wouldn’t have had to wait 25 years to understand one another.

“I miss you.” I whispered sullenly through my sobbing.

“Gods, Sookie, I love you more than life itself.” He said and kissed the top of my head. I wanted to go home, and I wanted him to take me.

“Can you take me home?” I asked needily and his disposition changed immediately, he sat up straighter and placed me beside him on the bed as he got up to go speak with Dr. Ludwig.

After a few minutes he came back in and lifted me from the bed cradling me tightly in his arms, flying me back to my old farmhouse.

I had to invite him in. He hadn’t been back in a quarter century and I somehow felt whole again having him in my home.

He took me upstairs to my bed and laid me down gently as he took off his shoes and came to sit next to me.

“Sookie. What exactly do you want?” He asked hopefully. And I understood that he was being cautious with me. He wanted my explicit approval before making any further moves.

“I want you are to make up for the last 25 years.” I said and made a move to straddle him. He pulled my face up to meet his and parted his lips to meet mine.

As his tongue massaged mine, his hands were busy caressing every inch of my body. His moaning was making me unbelievably hot and I unconsciously began to writhe against his ever growing erection.

He quickly removed my hospital gown, sexy I know, but he couldn’t care less, in fact I’m sure he was glad that I was wearing that because it was easier to remove. In one fell swoop I found myself completely naked and thrusting uninhibitedly against Eric. He quickly flipped us over so that he was hovering over me. He made quick work of his own clothes.

“Will you take my blood?” he asked. I had already accepted that fate wanted us together, denying him would only delay the inevitable. Besides that, I found that I missed feeling him.

I began to kiss his chest and nipples. “Mmm Hmm” I said agreeing to the exchange. His joy in my acceptance was overwhelming.

Eric kissed his way down my body until he reached my hot, wet center. His audible groan let me know that he was pleased at my body’s reaction to him. His made quick work of inserting tongue and fingers making me come almost instantly.

“Oh sweet Jesus Eric!” I cried out. No one and I mean no one has ever had the effect on my body that Eric had. After my second orgasm, Eric pulled away from me causing my body to lurch at the loss of contact. He moved up to my face and looked me deeply into my eyes, into my soul.

“Sookie Stackhouse, I love you more than I could ever explain.” He declared passionately and kissed me for all he was worth. At the same time, he thrust his graciousness deep into my core causing me to moan so loud that I am sure everyone in Bon Temps could hear me.

I quickly met him thrust for thrust. At first it was true love making, but our collective needs took over and it became animalistic. He bit into his wrist offering me his blood, which I took and he bit into my neck. The simultaneous exchange re-awakened our long dead blood bond. I could feel ever single emotion he was feeling. Lust, lots and lots of lust, love, happiness and relief.

We both came at the same time clutching each other tightly and screaming out for one another.  What I didn’t know was that since we never officially dissolved our pledge, the bonding that we had just done meant that we were once again pledged.

“You are my one and only Queen Sookie.” Eric declared proudly as he held me tight. 

“As I should have always been. I love you Eric.” I replied. And after 25 years without him, I felt whole once again and I knew that nothing in the future would ever tear us apart; I would make sure of it. 


End file.
